01 - Cabbages are balls of leaves.
02 - People who crib about not hanging out in cool places need a bigger fridge.
03 - I have super-natural memory , I just keep forgetting that.
04 - A terrorist is a guy with ideas so BAD, they hurt people.
05 - The Pine-Apple, and Sweet-Potato were adopted. Thats why they don't 'fit in'.
06 - A watch has 3 hands. Nothing anywhere else does. Handy.
07 - I have an amazing biological clock. It's tuned to the neighbouring continent, runs in slow motion, and at times, mimics a dead walnut.
08 - If I had a billion dollars, and I spent a dollar, I'd be a millionaire.
09 - A fly flies and a flea flees. They don't know that they do do what they'r called. We need more originality in the entomological naming division.
10 - If cough syrups and cold syrups cure coughs and colds, why do we have maple syrups and sugar syrups?
11 - Most of the superheroes with partially covered face masks never ever grow a beard.
Ironically, Batman would look more authentic as a bat IF he stopped shaving. But that might
look wierd, so I didn't tell anyone.
12 - I've been around people who are in LOVE with the concept of eternal optimism, and LOVE,
and the WONDERFUL blessed goodness all around them but eventually, I grew a tolerance.
13 - You can change the entire world; with only 8 shots of vodka, or a medium-sized bottle of rum.
Well, most of the time anyway..
14 - The eternal question: What is the purpose of life?
The answer: To live.
We all assume and acknowledge the fact that life eternal has a purpose. Nope. It doesn't. Sorry. Because if it did, that'd make it... BORING.
15 - Cockroaches are annoying. And it turns out they haven't changed biologically for millions of years. That means they hung out even when there were dinosaurs. But when you think about it, them dinosaurs didn't have to try real hard to stamp the critters. That's cuz they walked everywhere, and there no fridges at the time for the roaches to hide behind.
16 - Pepsi and coke are black in colour, until there's very little. Thats when it turns reddish brown caramel in colour. That, is wierd. And scary. I need better things to do in life than this...
17 - It takes a lot to get me drunk. No matter how much I drink, I somehow always manage to walk in a straight Zig-zag.
18 - I just realized that I'm not a page-3 celebrity. I am, however, the awesome dude you read about in page 30.
19 - A wise guy once sad, "hard work and dedication are the pillars of success". That guy died though. The pillars fell on him.
15 - Cockroaches are annoying. And it turns out they haven't changed biologically for millions of years. That means they hung out even when there were dinosaurs. But when you think about it, them dinosaurs didn't have to try real hard to stamp the critters. That's cuz they walked everywhere, and there no fridges at the time for the roaches to hide behind.
16 - Pepsi and coke are black in colour, until there's very little. Thats when it turns reddish brown caramel in colour. That, is wierd. And scary. I need better things to do in life than this...
17 - It takes a lot to get me drunk. No matter how much I drink, I somehow always manage to walk in a straight Zig-zag.
18 - I just realized that I'm not a page-3 celebrity. I am, however, the awesome dude you read about in page 30.
19 - A wise guy once sad, "hard work and dedication are the pillars of success". That guy died though. The pillars fell on him.