There was a time when I was a kid would judge myself based on
everyone's opinion of me. I had a loving family, and wonderful friends
in the middle east, where I grew up. When I reached India in the 9th
grade, everything changed.
I was introduced to a rigid educational system that focused on cramming,
where excellence was based on grades, and I felt like I didn't fit in.
Moreover, I lived away from my family and old friends and was finding a
hard time to just 'fit'.
I got picked on. I was a think skinny little kid, among the shortest in
my class. I was buck-toothed, tremendously shy, and preferred sitting by
self in my corner of the classroom doodling away in between classes. I
would not defend myself. I tried very hard to get everyone's approval,
to the point where I thought that fighting back would give them a reason
to deny me friendship. It was years later that I realized that such
people never deserved my friendship any more. By the time I finished my
12th grade, I was about 6 feet tall. I was no longer the short skinny
kid. I was the tall skinny bloke. I spent the next 4 years studying for
my Bachelors in Mechanical Engineering, something I was never too fond
of. Interestingly, I loved those 4 years. Outside university, I was
introduced to new friends, I learned music and worked with some
wonderful musicians, dabbled with photography and writing, debated over
political paradigms and economic constructs, yes, I was in an
intellectual's perfect dream.
But it was still not enough.
